


In your shirt

by Fanfictionisgoodforthesoul



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3926473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfictionisgoodforthesoul/pseuds/Fanfictionisgoodforthesoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first attempt at fanfiction , and is my polyamorous/trans/femme/queer inclusive take on the qaf storyline post season 5.I realised there were basically no such works so i decided that this simply could not stand and took steps to rectify the problem :3 I hope you enjoy reading it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	In your shirt

It had been nearly a year since Justin moved to New York ,-eleven months and twenty three days,actually,not that Brian was counting- and Pittsburg seemed to not have changed at all : still back-water-y , still cold as fuck,still a place he always said he’d leave behind and never quite managed to escape. Brian found this unchangeability to be an affront to his relationship and breakup with the young man who had first helped him discover,and then open up his heart. The idea of the world carrying on as if nothing had happened – when it felt like _everything_ had happened, seemed like a big cosmic fuck you to Brian,who found himself angry –first at an abstract entity often called Universe ,or Fate, and then at himself for wasting his energy on being angry at said abstract entity.After all,his feelings- all his frustration and anger ,all his bitterness and loss,feelings he kept tucked under a veneer of nonchalance – did not change the fundamental fact that had given birth to them : _Justin was gone_. Gone by choice ,after Brian had been willing to give him everything of himself, an act he used to think he was simply not capable of.He knew that just because he was ready to change his entire life for Justin,just because he overcame huge mental obstacles and tore down walls that had kept him safe for years, to make Justin happy,it didn’t mean Justin had to accept his proposal and stay with him.He knew it didn’t mean Justin owed him anything.He knew it was irrational,and he told himself he shouldn’t feel this way, but Brian still found himself feeling…betrayed somehow.

 

He was pacing fast through Liberty Avenue,keeping his eyes mostly on the ground in front of him,wishing there were a mask-preferrably made of wool-that could cover his entire face to protect him from the biting cold without messing up his hair.For the past year ,he had been going on with his business as usual, fucking,working,doing light drugs , in a pattern that indicated normality by his standards.But even if he had almost convinced his friends that he was fine , even if he had exuded an air of amicable indifference in the two conversations he and Justin had had via phone since the latter’s departure for New York –one on his birthday and one on Justin’s- it was clear to Brian that something was still very wrong with him.That scared him,as it was a feeling he had never felt before and one he was ashamed to voice to anyone,so he tried to live around it,to fuck around it,and last but certainly not least,to fuck it away.Nothing worked.He was still lovesick.  
The fact that the anniversary of his marriage proposal to Justin was coming up did not help.Like,at all.The fact that Emmet,Michael and Ted had all been coupled and ‘settled down’ –god he hated that expression-in normative homosexual bliss worked to only make matters worse and make his own lack of a stable romantic partner-namely,Justin,because ,let’s face it , who else is there?- even more salient and bitter than it already was.  
He entered the diner to find Michael chatting with Emmet –rogue words that reached Brian indicated the conversation was a dull one –something about the joys of domestication- and stood for a moment considering turning around and going straight to work.But in the midst of his weighing his options ,Debbie ,who was bringing an order to a nearby table spotted him and said,with her own, unique way that seemed both judgemental and caring : “Well you look like shit today.What can I get you,honey?” –the last part was accentuated by a warm,personal tone that hinted his presence to Emmet and Mickey,who turned around and gave him a smile.  
Alas,this was not his day.

 

“Goodmorning to you too,Debbie” he retorted,with equall parts sarcasm and unconfessed tenderness.”A coffee will do” .Cursing his own indecisiveness,he moved towards the table where Emm and Michael were seated.  
“Hey Brian” that was Mickey ,being jolly and innocent and really not what Brian needed right now.”You do look like shit today” he continued with a frown.”Everything ok?”  
Brian gave him a mischievous smile : “Rough night.You?” he answered after sitting across his best friend.For a man who spent so much of his time and energy to ensure he would be the center of attention,he was pretty good in guiding it –and the conversation- away from him.  
Mickey seemed ready to reply but was cut in by Emmet : “Too many twinks and drinks make for an early grave ,Brian.You’re not twent-y..” Brian’s death stare stopping him in his tracks ,Emmet took to drinking his coffee –from a candycane coloured straw,because that’s just how he rolls-and staring at Mickey,hoping he will divert their cranky/homicidal friend’s attention to things other than Emmet’s throat.  
“I’m good” Mickey kind of blurted out in an attempt to rescue Emm. “Actually,more than good.Next month is my and Ben’s five-year anniversary and since business at the store has been going so well we were thinking of going away for a few days.”

 

Brian,now focused on Michael ,much to Emmet’s relief, though of making a snide remark, but decided to push the snarky part of him down-for the moment.He still thought the whole living-together-in-not-so-glorious-monogamy to be an apologetic conformist fad,but had long since decided-since almost losing his best friend of almost twenty years-to keep those thoughts to himself.At the end of the day, it made Mickey happy ,and that was enough for Brian,even if he considered that particular form of happiness to be a slow death for the soul-and the dick.  
“Good” he replied ,in his best available approximation of approval. “I’m happy to hear that” he continued,not sure if he was lying or telling the truth.Having reached for his i-phone while listening,he went online and started checking his e-mails.  
They spent a couple of minutes in silence until Emmett,or Auntie Emm as Brian called him in a peculiar display of semi-affection, decided to speak up. “You know” he said hesitantly “I hear Justin is turning into a big up-and-comer in New York’s art scene,isn’t that right Mickey?In fact” he went on before getting an answer “I understand he’s already getting his second show at an art gallery and guess where that is!” he stopped of a second, wanting to build up to the moment of revelation of said gallery-all the while studying Brian for any sign of emotion.”it’s right here ,in Pittsburg!At Lindsey’s Gallery!” he concluded ,feeling triumphant for the response he was sure he was about to get from Brian.It never came.  
“Debbie where is my coffee?” said Brian ,slightly annoyed by the delay.  
_Shit_!This really wasn’t his day.

**Author's Note:**

> The fic title is from the song in your shirt by the irrepressibles.There will be sex and original characters in subsequent chapters.I plan on posting often but can make no promises (alas inspiration is a fickless mistress).What i know for sure is that i will add an omc whose appearance will be modeled after that of male model kenneth korsgaard bek because,honestly,he is just too cute to function in my opinion3:)


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